Restoring Faith in Humanity

Last weekend I was leaving a co-worker's place in the city, after watching the U.S. v England game. As I strolled down the sidewalk, I noticed a driver's license staring up at me from the ground. It was a little blue billfold, containing not only the license, but also several credit cards and a medicare insurance card for an elderly woman. At the moment I found myself sorely regretting my lack of a smart phone (which would enable me to find her phone number, look up her address on a map, and figure out which bus I could take to get there from where I was).

I looked her up in the white pages when I got home, and left a message on her answering machine. She called me back as I was enjoying the (rare) sunshine on my roof deck, and we ended up chatting on the phone for about 20 minutes before deciding that I would drop the billfold off at her place on my way out that evening.

Her place was a high-rise condo building not far from where I work. She met me in the lobby with her daughter who was in town visiting, and gave me a hug and thanked me. Then we all plopped down into armchairs and visited like old friends catching up after some time apart. It was surprisingly pleasant. She gave me a copy of one of her daughter's books (The Book of Qualities) with a card and some money inside. I didn't open the card until I was in my car...it said, among other things: 'It always restores my faith in humanity to meet a young person of integrity.' The whole experience left me with a warm, gooey feeling inside. She also remarked that "your parents raised you well!" Good job us, Mom and Dad, for restoring someone's faith in humanity :)

What's New...

The last time I tried to create a new post, it got deleted and I had no motivation to re-write it. I'll try again.

The month of May included a trip to Austin, Texas for my former roommate's wedding. It was a great trip (surprisingly wonderful to be back in Texas), although the experience pretty much confirmed for me that I do not ever want to plan a wedding. Highlight of that trip was 'floating the river' which basically consisted of tying a large group of people together in tubes (with coolers full of 'refreshments' in their own tubes), and floating down a river on a beautiful day :)

Toward the end of the month, I flew back to St Louis for my mom's birthday and my parents' pool grand opening. It was nice to be back for a visit, but the plan of luring me back to the midwest with an awesome pool didn't work :)

Here's Xavi trying to figure out what the deal is with the pool. The splash zone in front of him suggests that someone had just jumped in, but I don't remember who it was:

Here I am enjoying the pool and the bubble gun:

Didu showing Xavi and Irene how to splash. The water was about 70 degrees at that point, and Didu didn't like getting splashed back by his grown-up offspring later :)

Match-y poo-poos Xavi and Isaac:

Me and my nephew Isaac. We are pretty cute :) and it only took about six tries to get this picture.

The rest of life has been same old, same old. Work seems to finally be picking up (we have been very slow for a very long time...which is not good, financially speaking). I have to move next month, as my roommate is moving to Portland with her boyfriend, and I can't afford this place by myself. I kind of enjoy the purging process that goes along with moving, though, and am also excited to get to know a new neighborhood in this great city.

The weather has been primarily cold and gray lately, with the exception of yesterday (73 and sunny...pretty much my ideal day). I went wine tasting with my roommate and some friends. It was a little strange. I guess my only previous wine-tasting experience was in St. Louis at an actually winery...big outdoor patio, lovely scenery, live music. This was more like a strip mall, with a bunch of 'tasting rooms' from different wineries next to each other. You go from place to place trying the wine. In spite of the many varieties I tried, I am just not a fan of red wine. And I'm okay with that. I did purchase a lovely bottle of Viognier. And made a new friend named Lucy, an extremely friendly 2-year-old Labradoodle :)

As soon as I figure out where I'm moving, I will post pictures and details! And I'll try not to let so much time go by between updates.

I just keep adding to the weirdness

Have you ever had the experience of finding out something you've always considered perfectly normal is, in fact, considered very weird by those around you? My most recent example of this was during lunch at work, while I innocently consumed some carrots and peanut butter. A happy snack remembered from my youth...a crunchy delicious vegetable combined with the smooth, creamy peanut buttery-ness of peanut butter. Going by the stares of my co-workers, I might as well have being eating human fingers dipped in dog poo. I just had the hardest time accepting that anyone would think that's a strange combo.

While we're on the topic of things other people think are bizarre about me, today I picked up my new running shoes from R.E.I. They are the Vibram Five Fingers KSO Multisport, and are the first step in my transition to outdoor (and eventually, I hope, trail) running. Today I put them on and took my first 'long' outdoor run. I don't know why, but it is soooo much harder for me to run outside than on a treadmill. My muscles and body feel okay, but my lungs do not like it. I actually had to use my inhaler afterward because my airway felt so tight. Any tips from other runners? I feel like I must be doing something wrong.

After stretching, I lounged on the beach in the sun for awhile :) If I do move out of this neighborhood when my lease is up in July, I will have to find a replacement sunny-by-the-water soul nourishing spot within driving distance.

I know that many readers of this blog are fans of salsa. I also am a fan of salsa, and feel the need to recommend Trader Joe's Authentic Salsa. It is goooood, especially with their soy & flaxseed chips. It reminds me of the salsa at El Maguey or El Agave or whatever they're calling it these days. A little runnier than your average store-bought salsa. Salsa, salsa, salsa.

I'm excited for another summer in seattle! I'm going to try and get out on the water more this year. Somebody at work recommended paddle boarding, and the rental place is not far from me. So, I'd like to give that a shot one of these days. I'm also going to find some good hiking trails that I can take visitors to when (if) they come.

Okay, that is all. Please feel free to leave a comment sharing the ways that you are considered weird by others.

Ahem

Public Service Announcement:

It has come to my attention recently that my blog is 'white and sterile.' So I'm going to try on this lovely lilac background for a little while. That is all.

Downpours & Dragons

Thursday night was the first Sounders game of the new season (the first MLS game of the new season, too), against the brand-new Philadelphia Union. I rather miraculously got to leave work early, and headed down to the field. While the weather has been pretty nice lately, on thursday it rained all day. And it continued to rain for the entire game.

It was still fun, though. I couldn't help but smile as I walked toward the field with thousands of other fans in the pouring rain. The energy was infectious. Jon, Kara, and I expanded our season ticket holder block to 8 (now including: Heather, Nelson, Brian, and Brian's 2 roommates whose names I can't remember), and our seats are many rows closer than last year.

The Sounders won 2-0, and I have now officially seen my team score a goal on their home pitch (which I never got to see last season in regulation play). Hooray! I am really looking forward to all the games to come...

So speaking of that night, I was standing in line to pay a machine in a parking lot downtown, and the girl in front of me said she had swiped her card and it had been 'processing' forever. She gave up and left. I stood around and waited some more, and eventually a ticket came out. I grabbed it and looked to see if the girl was still in the lot. She wasn't. Although logic told me I should save myself $20 and use the ticket, some crazy justice-obsessed person inside me felt like it would be wrong. So I stood there holding her ticket while I swiped my own card, and waited an eternity for my ticket to print. I explained what happened to the woman who came and got in line behind me, and offered her the ticket. Since she hadn't actually met the girl, it seemed less wrong for her to use it. And it's not like ripping it up would have done any good; the girl's card was charged. The woman behind me hesitated for a second then said, "let's split it," handed me $10, and took the ticket. I felt bad for the chick who's out $20, but really there wasn't much I could do. Am I crazy for feeling guilty/swiping my card? What would you have done?

Okay, so I know at least one of my family members disagrees, but I am 100% supportive of the 3-D movie phenomenon. Last night I saw How to Train Your Dragon with a friend from work and her friend, and it was awesome. While I don't want all movies in the future to be 3-D (what would happen to the poor monocular people among us?), the ones I've seen so far (Up, Avatar, Dragon) have been impressive, heightened moviegoing experiences. I am soooo excited for Clash of the Titans to come out next month. Who wants to fly out to Seattle and come see it with me?

Night Shift

This week I was scheduled to work nights. As I am very much a morning person, I was not excited about this. On nights the OR is staffed to run 3 rooms with one person to give breaks (on any given weekday we are staffed to run 23 rooms including people to do breaks). So, you pretty much have to be ready for anything, and do whatever comes down. I am still pretty new, and there are lots of cases I have never scrubbed before.

Monday night was fine...I finished a spine case that was still going when I arrived. Then I set up 5 rooms for the next day. Then I got to do a quick case (debridement of a stage 4 pressure ulcer...if you're brave you can google that for images). That was our only case the whole night, and it was over by midnight. Easy enough.

Friday night I was nervous. 'Crashes' (emergent cases that come down to the OR on very short notice) are much more probable on weekend nights, for obvious reasons (i.e. alcohol). However, it was a surprisingly quiet shift. Around 4 a.m. we finally got a case. No big deal...patient got stabbed in the abdomen, was stable, they just wanted to make sure there wasn't any internal damage. I did get to go up to the emergency department for the first time ever to do my pre op patient interview, and was amazed at the size of it. I mean, I know we're a level 1 trauma center, but had no idea the E.R. was so big (or would be so bustling at 4 a.m. on a saturday).

By Saturday night I was just so relieved to be at the end of my work week that I wasn't too worried about what the shift would be like. I am used to going to bed by 10 at the latest, and getting up pretty early even on my days off. But staying awake all night monday really messed up my schedule, and I couldn't fall asleep before 3 a.m. on my days off. Then I would sleep half the day away, and start the cycle again. I didn't really get to hang out with people very much. It was really disruptive to my body and mind; I felt nauseated a lot (eating less = silver lining!), and found myself crying for no discernible reason about once a day (depression = not good). All that to say, I was ready to get back to my normally scheduled life please. Also, I have to give props to all parents who haven't deposited their babies on a doorstep somewhere...I imagine that the sleep deprivation of new parenthood is similarly disruptive, and lasts much longer than a week.

So, Saturday night...15 minutes before the start of my shift, 2 pediatric patients were crashed down. I was going into a case that was already in progress, so I helped set up 2 new crash rooms (as soon as one gets used, another one gets set up as quickly as possible). My case finished after an hour, then I helped set up for a potluck for a nurse who's retiring, and then I gave a break. After enjoying some tasty potluck goodness, I got assigned to scrub an organ retrieval (just want to clarify that this was not one of patients who crashed down earlier). I've never done one before, and they are sort of weird cases because the surgeons that do them come over from a different hospital (or several different hospitals), and then there's a team of 'organ people' (as I think of them) who bring all the supplies for preparing/packaging the organs once they are removed. One of the organ team people told me that the case was likely to get a little crazy as there would be four teams of surgeons working at the same time. Okaaaay.

Stop reading if you get squeamish. So there was a scrub person with the organ team who helped me set up, and who was super helpful during the first part of the case in passing instruments to the four people at once who were asking for them. In one sense, this was a fascinating case to scrub. Normally in surgery, the incision made is as small as possible; for less tissue trauma/better healing outcomes, etc. In an organ retrieval, everything is exposed. It was incredible to see the heart beating (we don't do many cardiac cases, and I've only scrubbed 1 thoracic case ever), and watch the lungs expand, and see the peristaltic waves of the intestines. There's a process of exposing the organs they're planning to take and making sure they are viable, then dissecting away as much tissue as they can, and tying off nonessential vessels. All the lead-up to the moment when they cross clamp the aorta, and then the organ team has all kinds of fluids that they flush with, and lots of ice gets packed in around the organs, and then they start taking things out. And I think that's when it stopped being clinically interesting to me. Because looking into the empty body cavity, I was struck with the wrongness of a life ending. Even though five other people around the country had the most hopeful day of their lives, this life was over. Once the heart had stopped beating, it all suddenly seemed so gruesome.

I still firmly advocate organ donation...I just don't look forward to being part of the process. I also have a better understanding of why many families refuse it as an option for their loved ones. It used to make me angry that anyone would refuse organ donation. Don't they understand the need out there? Don't they understand how many very desperate people there are waiting for a chance? Can't they see what a waste it is to let healthy organs die when they could do so much good? But I have a little more empathy now.

So that this isn't the most depressing post I've ever written, this is today's verse on www.verseoftheday.com:

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:25-26

Keystone 2010

Last week, I took the long-awaited trip to Keystone, Colorado with Jeff & Amie, and their friends Jimmy and Jen. My flight arrived first in Denver, so I greeted everybody else at the gate when their plane finally arrived, late (after chilling on the runway in STL for an hour to be de-iced). Then we waited an hour for their bags to get to baggage claim, as 1st a truckful of bags was somehow forgotten at the the gate and 2nd there was a bag-jam on the conveyor belt. It sort of felt like a National Lampoon's vacation at that point.

We finally got our rental Suburban, and hit the road (after stopping to get our lift tickets and some dinner). Everyone was tired and loopy when we finally got to our condo an hour and half later. My first lesson about altitude occurred as I struggled to carry 80-lbs of baggage and groceries up the stairs to our 2nd-story condo. I am positive that there was not enough oxygen reaching my brain.

Since lift tickets cost $93 a day, and I'm what they call a 'novice' skier, I decided that I was only going to get passes for two days. So on Saturday, Amie, Jen, and I decided to do some old-fashioned girl bonding :) and went shopping at a nearby outlet mall. This crazy outlet mall was divided into 'villages' and involved walking alongside a river to get from village to village. And it was snowing. But we had fun.

On Sunday morning, the girls went to the rental place to get our equipment. In spite of my best operating room nurse horror stories, only Jeff and I opted to rent helmets. I made all non-helmet wearing members of our party verbally agree to organ donation in the event of a traumatic brain injury resulting in brain death. Yes, it is morbid, but I think this is something people need to consider and talk about with their loved ones. Also, I am not above fear mongering when it comes to people that I care about. Consequently, Jeff had a very hard fall that day, and perhaps his helmet prevented a concussion (or worse). Vindication.

Having learned a valuable lesson during my Steven's Pass skiing adventure, I told Amie and Jen that I wanted to spend some quality time on the bunny slope before I attempted going down a real run. This was a very good idea. At the top of the gentlest, baby slope that Keystone had to offer, I froze, paralyzed in fear, for a good ten minutes. The conversation in my head was interesting (from a psychological perspective) and slightly insane...and involved a lot of repeating "Fear is the mind-killer," which apparently is a quote from Dune (although I couldn't remember where it came from at the time. Here is the full quote: "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."). Eventually I decided that falling down was the worst thing that could happen, and that would be better than staying perched at the top of the bunny slope for all eternity. And I made it down. And then I went down about seven more times, as I got my 'ski legs' back and remembered how to turn and stop, and swerve to avoid skiers who were even less experienced than me.

After a couple of runs, Amie and Jen left to go meet the guys up at the lodge. I kept practicing until I felt like the bunny slope had nothing left to offer me. Then I made my way up the mountain to the Schoolmarm. A green circle slope, definitely, but with two challenging steep/icy areas, and seemingly 45 miles long. I made it down in one piece, only falling over once, but by the bottom my legs barely worked anymore. My quads felt like chunks of lead, and I'm convinced if I hadn't been doing squats/taking the stairs everyday/running again for the past several months I probably wouldn't have been able to make it down at all. I felt totally euphoric when I reached the bottom. I thanked God that I didn't break my femur (or anything else), and looked around for a friendly stranger to high five. Sadly, I didn't find one. So I headed back to our condo to rehydrate and refuel.

Medical side note: Apparently at higher altitudes, part of the reason you dehydrate so quickly is that you must breathe faster to get the same amount of oxygen. I definitely noticed being thirsty, and also got a daily headache.

I had every intention of giving the Schoolmarm a second shot that afternoon, but after enjoying a soak in the hot tub, I couldn't bring myself to put the ski boots back on. Instead I relaxed until our tubing reservation. Tubing was awesome. Especially when Jeff, Amie, and I joined together as the Triad of Awesome and hurtled down the slope in a spinning formation of fun (see below).

Monday was a beautiful sunny day in the Rocky mountains. I went back to the Schoolmarm... and triumphantly made it to the bottom again. My muscles were NOT happy with me. So I decided to join Amie and Jen for the rest of the day. First we wandered around Riverrun Village (the shops at our resort). Some of them were typical t-shirt shops. Then there was a boutique where we saw a $798 sweater, and some glitter-splattered Roberto Cavalli jeans. Seriously? Who would buy a sweater worth more than a month's rent?

Here I am with a bison.

Here's Amie, who hadn't yet realized that a lens popped out of her sunglasses. She couldn't figure out why I was laughing at her and wanted to take a picture.

After exhausting the five shops at Riverrun, we decided to drive through the mountains to Breckenridge, what we had heard described as "the Disneyworld" of ski resorts." It kind of was, but the drive there was gorgeous.

We celebrated our last night of vacation at the Dillon Dam Brewery, which was delicious. And we all said 'Dam' a lot while ordering from the Dam menu and giggling :)

Tuesday we had to check out of our condo by 10, but didn't have to be at the airport till 12:30, so we drove 30 miles to Vail. Wow, some seriously huge houses and upscale hotels there. I'm pretty sure I can add that to the list of places I'll never be able to afford vacationing in.

We spent our last hour together in the airport playing Banana-grams in a food court while other travelers looked on enviously. It was a fun trip, and I wouldn't mind making it an annual February tradition.