i can has cheezburger (google it)

I have a confession to make: I am inordinately wasteful of time. The greatest time suck in my life, by far, is the internet. I had a revelation at work the other day, hearing these words come out of my mouth, as I said them (only somewhat ironically) to a co-worker, "I'd like to be more politically involved and aware. There are things I really care about and would like to be part of changing, but I don't know how to figure out which politicians also care about those things. And then there are so many entertaining videos of cats doing funny things on the internet."

In the interest of living a better story with my life, I set some goals and made a bucket list for the next year and a half (my 'unofficial' time left in Seattle, although my five-year plan is flexible). It does not involve watching cat videos on the internet. I think accountability is key for me, so I'm going to go ahead and share some of the items on said list in hopes that people will ask me about them, and I will  complete them:
- take salsa dancing lessons :)
- learn Portuguese (this is one I've been lazily attempting since high school, but I want to be conversational before I go to Brazil!)
- run a 5k (I did not enjoy the 1st & only one I've done, but I want to give it another shot)
- try rock climbing (at an indoor climbing gym, not the side of a mountain)
- take a snowboarding lesson
- explore more of Seattle on foot (bus or drive to neighborhoods I don't know well, then wander)
- join a book club (for someone who loves reading as much as I do, I cannot believe I've never been in a book club)

In addition, I'll try and update this blog more frequently, for anyone who might still be reading it.

Sick days, and an ode to Mom

I think I might have prophetic powers. So I had a dream a few nights ago that I was sick and hacking up really gross things. I woke up thinking, "thank goodness I'm not sick and hacking up gross things" and wondered what the gross things might be symbolic of in my subconscious mind. A couple of days later, I had an annoying tickle in the back of my throat. The next morning, I had a fever and a hacking cough, complete with nasty things I will not describe being painfully expelled from my upper respiratory system. I just have two words for you: mucus plugs.

Not that anyone ever likes being sick, but I remember positive things about sick days as a child. Laying on the couch with a cool washcloth for my forehead (periodically refreshed by my mom), Coke slushies  and popsicles brought out on demand to my couch of convalescence, an endless stream of cartoons interrupted only by impromptu naps, and chicken soup lovingly prepared by my mom. Thank you, Mom, for being such a good nurse :)

Being sick as adult blows. Having a fever feels like dying (or what I imagine dying feels like). Everything hurts, you can't get warm, and if you want a washcloth for your forehead you have to get it (and refresh it) yourself. During one of the fleeting periods in which standing up didn't feel like my head was going to split apart, I made soup for myself. Then I got into bed at 4:30 pm and (barring a couple of bathroom breaks) didn't get up until 7 am. 

The most annoying thing about this illness is that I'm pretty sure I brought it upon myself. See, I spent a month strictly eating Paleo. And exercising, and sleeping enough, and generally taking care of myself in all the ways one should. But then I started down a slippery slope of 'cheat' meals. Culminating in last weekend's 4-day alcohol/ice cream/mexican food (including corn tortillas and cheese!) binge, wherein I not only poured crap into my body but also didn't sleep enough and climbed a mountain. The weekend was a blast, but I'm paying for it now. Back to moderation...

I'll be back on the Paleo bandwagon for the next month at least. 80 lbs down, 35 to go...and trying to stay motivated!

Addendum: I read a lot of blogs to stay motivated in my weight loss / healthy mind, body, and spirit / telling a better story journey. My favorites always have before and after pictures. Even though I'm not yet at the 'after' I'd like to be, I took a picture anyway :)

Before, during what I hope was the unhealthiest (in every possible way) summer of my life, 2008:

My first month in Seattle:

Looking at these pictures makes me feel a little bit like I'm suffocating. And marvel at the human body's capacity to adapt. It also makes me want to hug that 2008 version of myself who didn't know how powerful she would be when she started to accept her weakness.

Present:

Hey, look, I climbed a mountain, for fun! And it was fun! And I could still walk the next day!

You cannot fully appreciate a view like this without putting forth the effort to get there:

Adventures in Paleo and Portland

People have this facial expression when they find out I can't eat gluten. It is equal parts pity, horror, and curiosity. When I explain why I stopped eating it and the symptoms I had (which have since resolved), they often wear an expression of recognition. Sometimes they even say 'maybe I should try that.' But no one ever has. Often they say 'I could never do that,' shaking their head as if the thought is too terrible to bear. To me, it's like a heroin addict saying they could never give up heroin. Duh...you only say it because you don't want to give it up. I know that gluten is TOXIC to my body. Why would I continue eating it? 

I've realized for awhile now that I'm addicted to sugar, and it's been pure sabotage to my weight loss efforts. A friend of mine gave up sugar last year, and she's been looking and feeling great...leading me to have many conversations in my head about giving it up, too. But I never really wanted to, so I didn't. I figured that life's too short to suffer that way. So instead I just kept plugging away, working out and counting calories, eating healthier than I ever have in my life, but still enjoying "desserts" every day. 

A few weeks ago, I was feeling kind of down. Can't remember why, but because of those feelings I would have a BIG bowl of Chocolate Chex at the end of each day. This lasted three or four days, and I felt like utter crap. Tired, drained, headache, first thought on waking up was when could I go back to bed. Working out was brutal, walking up any sort of incline felt ten times harder than normal. It was frustrating for me. I knew all my hormone levels, electrolytes, etc were normal because I had a blood test last month. Really the only thing I'd done different was binge on Chex, and I was confused. Chex are gluten free, and it was within my calorie budget. I had just started working out at Crossfit, and knew that they promote something called the Paleo diet. So I got a book called The Paleo Solution and started reading about this crazy diet. 

The author is a former research biologist, and I have to say that he convinced me with science to take a 30 day Paleo challenge. I am not good at concisely saying what other people say (ask anyone I've ever recommended a book to), so if you're interested check out Robb Wolf, Loren Cordain, or Mark Sisson's websites (I like the last one the best). Take home points: we don't need carbohydrates from grain sources to survive; and the abundance of said carbohydrates in the modern diet is partly responsible for the prevalence of diseases that are reaching epidemic, critical numbers in our society (see cardiovascular disease, diabetes, cancer, and many more). As a health care provider and a member of a society that will soon be drowning in medical expenses for a very unhealthy population, this gives me great hope. Those diseases mentioned earlier can be reversed with a diet/lifestyle change.

In addition, I lost five pounds in one week of eating Paleo. FIVE! The same amount of calories (if not more) I was eating before, more fat, and as much fruit as I wanted (in spite of Paleo diet advice to limit fruit if you want to lose fat). I was in complete shock when I stepped on the scale at the end of the week, and thought it was an error at first. So, I'm pretty much sold at this point. I'm going to do strict Paleo for a month, then will try reintroducing certain kinds of dairy and legumes to see how my body tolerates them. I would like to know what optimal physical fitness feels like. 

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On a completely unrelated note, my friends Jon & Kara are living in Portland for 6 weeks for his job, and I decided to go visit them. Took the train down on a long weekend, and had a great time! My tiny friend Max was excited to show me around. Here's one of his favorite spots in Portland, a super fun park with a waterfall/pool that he likes to splash in: 

On Saturday morning we visited the Farmer's Market, which is now one of my favorite places in Portland. I had an amazing spicy sausage with grilled peppers and onions for lunch there. Bought some strawberries that were sweeter than any I've ever tasted (I wondered if the farmers had perhaps been injecting them with sugar somehow), some delicious walnuts, and grass-fed beef jerky (that I still haven't tried).  

Confession time now. I think I like Portland better than Seattle. This thought popped into my head while there: Seattle is like a beautiful woman with a terrible personality, and Portland is like her less attractive, slightly weirder, but much more fun to hang out with sister. I can't really explain what it was; the people just seemed friendlier and the city overall more inviting. Tons of restaurants and lovely outdoor spaces, lots of cool shops (I'll have to go back when my bank account is a little more padded!). I'm definitely filing Portland in the 'potential cities I might enjoy living in someday' column. 

                            

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Finally, the pastor of the church I sometimes attend (only sometimes because it is so big and hard to connect with people and I often find that overwhelming) has a really great blog here. I was struck by these words, which I felt compelled to read aloud (to myself) and as soon as I started reading them I also started crying. I've included the previous sentence for context: "the reality is that we're boring an entire generation to death in the church, through the language we use, and the emasculated vision of successful Christian as nothing more, really, than "sin management". In truth, we're called to help each other live abundantly, body soul and spirit, so that out of a wise, robust, healthy, joyous, and full life, we can become servants to our world." I am hopeful.

Blue skies, smilin' at me

Spring has been lovely so far. Last weekend was sunny and in the 70's, and the O.R. is once again full of people who have broken themselves while enjoying the sunshine. There are rumors that temperatures may reach the low to mid 80's this weekend, and the entire city seems manic about it. Paroxysms of joy, even. It's like the universe making amends after last year's truly dismal summer (I think it only reached 80 degrees about six times total).

Here's my tiny friend Max, enjoying a swing at one of the best parks ever (it still has one of those merry-go-rounds that have nearly been litigated out of existence everywhere else).

Me and Max on a walk. That look of disgruntlement on his face is from the fact that he wasn't feeling so great (cutting teeth is the worst!), and because I insisted on using my phone to take a picture instead of letting him eat it.

Last weekend I went hiking with a friend of mine from work. There's a really nice trail about 45 minutes from the city, by a big lake, that is absolutely packed on nice days in the summer. We got there around 9 am and it wasn't too bad. I wanted to try out my Vibram Fivefingers on the trail for the first time, so it was a relatively short hike (2 miles) with a modest elevation gain (1200 feet). But the payoff at the top is pretty awesome.

Vibrams don't keep out water, so I had to air out my feet at the top.

Stephanie and I had pbjs and enjoyed the view. We ran part of the way back down, and I think I might have to start trail running. It's fun (and I felt a little bit like Tarzan), and challenges different muscles than I'm used to working.

PSA

Dear anonymous crackhead who broke into and ransacked my car last night,

I'm not really sure why you targeted my 1997 Corolla with its various nicks and dents, and four tires without hubcaps. Had you inspected it closely before prying open the front passenger door with what I can only assume was a crowbar, you might have noticed that the back passenger door was, in fact, unlocked. I guess you also assumed that I was hiding something really great by your thoroughness in emptying the glove box and CD nook (I am shocked that you couldn't fetch something for that Glee: Volume 5 CD on the crack market). I also take offense that you left my 5-year-old FM iPod transmitter plugged into the cigarette lighter, and ignored my 5-year-old Garmin Nuvi. I am thrilled, however, that when you moved on to the trunk you didn't want my Trader Joe's shopping bags, my very nice Sam's insulated grocery bag (which allows many a carton of ice cream to make it home from the store without melting in the summertime), or my fabulous hot pink and zebra waterproof picnic blanket (because I love it!). It would have been nice of you to take the bags of clothes I've been driving around for months with the intent to donate to Goodwill, instead of just strewing the articles around my trunk.

You, sir or madam, put a real damper on my morning.

I love vegetables...

Because they are the reason I saw a number on the scale this morning that I haven't seen since high school :)

I had hit a bit of a weight-loss plateau for months and months and months. I couldn't 'find the time' to work out more, and am totally against "dieting" because I'd like my weight loss to be part of a lifestyle change that's sustainable for the rest of my lifetime. So I was just hovering around the same weight (and jeans size) feeling discouraged because I lack the willpower to give up things like cheese and sugar.

So I found that blog on Pinterest that I mentioned in my last post; written by a young woman who lost half of her body weight and cultivated a healthy relationship with food after two decades of having an unhealthy one. She eats a huge salad for lunch every day, and wrote a post about it. I thought, "I could do that" and it would save me standing in line for the microwave at lunch.

The influx of massive amounts of (tasty) vegetables into my diet, in concurrence with 30 days of drinking water (no juice, creamer, soda, or alcohol), was instrumental in busting through the plateau. I have more energy, somehow find the time to work out more, sleep better, and feel great. And my current weight is now nine pounds below the number that's been taunting me for all those months.

Wahoo!

2012 Catch up

I wish I was more diligent in updating this blog. Maybe it would motivate me to pursue more exciting activities if I knew I'd have to update you all, bimonthly, let's say. Anyway, here's an update, it's linktastic!

- I'm back at Bethany Community Church (churchbcc.org). The reason I stopped going there a couple of years ago was that the congregation was so big it felt impossible to connect with anyone. That's still a struggle, for sure, but one I feel better equipped to deal with this time around. If you're a blog person, check out the pastor, Richard's blog: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/richarddahlstrom/

- I LOVE Ingrid Michaelson's new album, Human Again. She is such a talented singer/songwriter. She's definitely on my 5 people I'd invite if I could invite anyone (living) to have dinner with me. Already got my tickets for her concert in April :)

- Although we've had an unseasonably dry winter so far, I'm kind of a wimp when it comes to running outdoors. Below 45 degrees, and any precipitation falling from the sky will keep me from hitting the trail. So my (indoor) winter workout this year has been the Brazil Butt Lift. I both love and loathe this hyperactive, smiling Brazilian man who has led me to discover several (apparently totally atrophied based on the amount of pain felt with exercise) muscles I never knew existed, while encouraging me with phrases like "never settle for less!" in his charming Brazilian accent.

- So, I may have spent just a few minutes here and there investigating Pin-interest. While I don't feel the need to make a profile and/or pin things, I will grant that it's full of great recipes/blogs/crafts/etc. I found this blog there (which inspires me in a thousand ways), and have tried several of her recipes already, with great success. And while I'm sharing things I like to look at online, check out theawesomer.com sometime. Trust me, it's got lots of awesome stuff.

- My nail armor. I use nail polish as a sort of barrier against all the chemicals my hands are exposed to at work (as in, I have to wash or gel my hands every time I enter or exit the O.R. or touch a patient or just when I haven't done it in awhile...would estimate I wash them at least 100 times during a 12 hour day). I'm allowed to do this as long as it's less than three days old, and doesn't chip. My new favorite polish is Butter London If you're a nail polish person at all, try this stuff!

Okay, enough for now. Next time, pictures of my tiny friend, Max! (He's my friends' and former roommates' baby boy, and he is cuuuuuuuute.) You can visit him here.

You would think I just discovered the hyperlink, right?